Getting into that dress! Wedding diets, detoxes and cleanses

Getting into that dress! Wedding diets, detoxes and cleanses

Before my wedding, I decided to go on a diet. Silly me bought a 26 inch waist orginal 1930s dress that left no love handle unturned. It was a single layer of tight silk fabric that showed every single lady lump.

Knowing I had to actually contort myself into that dress in front of 110 people was the ultimate push I needed to get healthy and lose a few pounds. I gave myself plenty of time, and lost a gradual amount through healthy eating and excersise. Sounds easy, right? Well, with the help of my Bridesmaid, Jemma, yanking up some massive, ugly control pants for me, I got into the dress. As you can see in the pic. above.

That was then. This is now. I don’t have the luxury of time, and I have an occasion that I need to squeeze on my favourite little black dress for. 5 years after my wedding (and one child later), I find myself with layers of pizza, wine, left over childrens meals and chocolate fat congrigating around my middle. My jeans are tight, and the prospect of wearing massive knitwear over the winter months makes me want to cry into my Dominos.

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So, my dear friends, sugar, caffeine, alcohol & processed foods, are being locked away in a cupboard for a while whilst I embark on the world-famous Forever Aloe Clean 9 cleanse.

It’s 9 days of controlled calories & natural nutrition supplements that gives you the ultimate kick-start to a lifestyle change and better feeling me. That’s the plan, anyway! The official word on the street is…

“Look better and feel great in just nine days with this expertly-devised cleansing plan. Cleanse your body and adjust your mindset, C9 provides the perfect starting point for transforming your diet and fitness habits. Based around Forever’s bestselling Aloe Vera Gel drink, this nutritionally-balanced programme will allow you to see real results in just nine days.”

Forever Aloe C9 Cleanse

Click to enlarge

Step one of the C9 cleanse is to carry out a pre-cleanse to make the actual cleanse easier! For me that involves removing caffeine from my daily life. I have about two to three cups of strong coffee per day, normally before 12, and very occasionally, one in the afternoon if I ‘need’ it.

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Little did I know, going cold-turkey from caffeine is like you just came down with a strange sudden illness! Ideally, you reduce your intake over a period of time, so your body copes with the change better. What did I do? I just stopped drinking it. OUCH. My head!!!!!!!

My legs! My kidneys!

What the heck is going on? Why on earth am I feeling so rubbish? Ok, so I had to google it. According to, some of the symptoms of caffeine widthdrawal are:

  1. Headache – check. My brain feels like it’s rattling around in my head.
  2. Sleepiness – check. I haven’t been able to stay awake after 9pm for the last few nights.
  3. Irritability – check. Basically, don’t come near me.
  4. Lethargy – check. I’d rather be in bed.
  5. Muscle Pains – check!! This is the worst.

I was up multiple times last night trying to rid my legs of tremedous cramping pains, and whilst we’re at it, don’t come near me, because I’ll bite.

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Just by embarking on this pre-cleanse (which, let’s face it, is nothing compared to what I’m about to go through!), I have now seen how much my body relies on caffeine. It’s made me wonder whether I want to drink it anymore! We’ll see in a few weeks.

The next step for me is to enjoy my weekend and come Monday, the Clean 9 starts.

For anyone embarking on a cleanse or detox, my advice to you is to rid your body of  toxins gradually in the run up, otherwise you’re more likely to quit when you do your proper cleanse due to the hideous widthdrawal symptoms! I am glad I stopped drinking caffeine beforehand, because the symptoms of withdrawal, plus lack of food and alcohol would have been a struggle, and I probably would have quit in the first day. As you can tell, I don’t have much willpower!

I will update you every day of the 9 days of the cleanse, so that if you feel you’d like to feel better and look better, I can tell you what it’s really like.

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